The Road to Change

Today with Deeana was rougher than yesterday - and even without trying the car!

We met her in the playground out back again and when she saw Michael and I she started to whimper immediately. I knelt down to her, put my arms out and she let me pick her up. But she started to cry. Andrey, our driver, suggested we go find a playground, but a quiet one. So we walked around to the front of the orphanage and we headed to our usual spot. However, we quickly got shooed out because there was a small group of toddlers playing in there with the flu and we couldn't be near them.

So our driver said how about this spot here under the trees. Well that spot was buggy and had uneven ground and lots of low tree branches with a low bench that would have broke if Deeana sat on it. Meanwhile we did our best to console her, but nothing was working. Nothing! She wouldn't really stay in Michael's arms for long, poor Papa. So eventually I took her for a walk. She started crying when I brought her back. So I ended up picking her up again. Finally, I said enough and we went to sit on some stairs. She didn't like that either because she thought she was going inside the door at the top of the stairs. OYE!.

So we tried everything, again. But this time we added a snack. It helped a tiny bit, but tears still trickled. Eventually our driver came and said we could go back to the playground. NOW? Not that it will help much - We only had 15 minutes left.

So we tried a 3rd time to calm her down and make her happy, but all Deeana wanted was to be held. Our driver tried talking to her. He asked her if she was sick, he asked... he got nothing. He asked if she felt hot... it's 85 degrees... we're all hot.

And once again it was time to go. He talked to her again. Andrey found out she was hungry, and wanted to play with her friends. She wanted a banana, and a new toy (he suggested a small doll).We walked her back inside, down the hall, and up the stairs. She seemed happier to be back with her familiar surroundings. She even let Michael pick her up, give her a kiss and then onto me.

It's heartbreaking to see her cry and not be able to help her, communicate with her, or know her needs and wants. But it's something we will all have to come to terms with in the coming weeks.

Tomorrow we will be doing passport pictures, as Deeana's favorite caretaker is available to join us for the trip. We are crossing our fingers our little darling is able to relax better in the arms of a more familiar face... for what is supposed to be a short trip.

Paka, until tomorrow!

Posted by Mel at 6:56 AM